Archive for the 'Main' Category



Hollywood Screeches To Halt After Partner Thanked In Jodie Foster Acceptance Speech [Significant Others]


h1 Thursday, December 6th, 2007

foster.jpgAwarded with the Sherry Lansing Leadership Award at the 16th annual Women in Entertainment Breakfast Tuesday, Jodie Foster reportedly gave a moving speech, candidly telling the gathered crowd, “I’ve been working in this business for 42 years and there’s no way you can do that and not be as nutty as a fruitcake.” Among her many thank-yous, one got a reporter wondering if the veteran actress, so notoriously tight-lipped about her personal affairs and the significance of the “eternity ring” she never removes, had quietly come out to her working woman peers. From the LA Daily News:

Toward the end of her remarks, Jodie thanked those nearest and dearest to her. Among them was “my beautiful Cydney who sticks with me through all the rotten and the bliss.”

Since she has always been so intensely private, I was surprised at the public acknowledgment of who I presume is Cydney Bernard, the woman who is widely reported to be her life partner.

It’s not as if this was some great secret: Even the first entry of Bernard’s IMDb trivia section mentions their relationship, having met in 1993 on the set of Sommersby. Still, for Foster to recognize her partner in a public industry forum suggests she may be slackening her rigid position on the matter; in the unlikely event she wins a Golden Globe or Oscar for The Brave One, we might very well look forward to a Halle Berry-esque acceptance speech for the ages, in which the actress tearfully intones, “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I’m sorry. This moment is so much bigger than me. This moment is for Katherine Hepburn, Linda Hunt, Miss Hathaway!”


A tipster forwarded this cameraphone photo … [Strikewatch]


h1 Thursday, December 6th, 2007

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A tipster forwarded this cameraphone photo of an unattended WGA picket sign found on the Warner Bros lot this morning; hopefully, its owner has permanently abandoned it in favor of one with a more up-to-date slogan, as no one really needs a reminder that the strike has dragged on so long that references to DeGeneres’ pet adoption problems once seemed timely.


On The Road With Jeremy Piven’s Steam-Powered Pussy Machine [Short Ends]


h1 Tuesday, December 4th, 2007


· If anyone knows where we can pimp our gas-guzzling ride with the words “Clean Energy” along the sides in massive blue letters, we’re all ears. We hear it’s foolproof horny-starlet-bait. [via TMZ]
· Congratulations to Lindsay Lohan, whose first post-rehab gig appears to be selling $5 Polaroids of herself to tourists with the rest of the Chinese Theater Justice League!
· Is it a coincidence that on the day reports emerge that #1 Yahoo search topic Britney Spears failed to show up to her “Piece of Me” video shoot, MTV and Jive Records announce their Make Your Own ‘Piece of Me’ Video Contest? Wethinks not.
· We defy you to resist these photos of injured hedgehogs with brightly colored scrunchie casts.
· It’s the first night of Hanukkah. Has linking to Adam Sandler’s “The Hanukkah Song” become a cliché? Yes. Yes it has. Do we care? No. No we don’t.


Today’s most popular headlines are Tina Fey … [Stats Feed]


h1 Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

Today’s most popular headlines are Tina Fey Recalls Paula Abdul’s Trainwreck ‘SNL’ Appearance (5,924 views today), The Ladies Of ‘The View’ Debate Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Ass (4,206) and Pretend To Look Surprised When Queen Latifah Finally Sits You Down For Some ‘Big News’ (3,862). Today’s most discussed stories are The Ladies Of ‘The View’ Debate Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Ass (18 comments), Pretend To Look Surprised When Queen Latifah Finally Sits You Down For Some ‘Big News’ (16) and Embattled Carson Daly Returns To The Air, Determined To Save Jobs And Entertain Loyal Insomniac Fan (14).

A Year Later, The ‘Borat’ Lawsuits Just Keeping Coming [Celeb Jurisprudence]


h1 Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

borat-drive.jpgSome 13 months after the theatrical release of Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen’s mockumentary about an intellectually curious Kazakh journalist’s travels across the U.S. and A to engage in cultural exchanges with as many litigious Americans as possible, one might think that any of comedian’s on-camera victims who hadn’t already filed lawsuits had grudgingly accepted their cinematic notoriety. Amazingly, legal papers are still being filed, with the latest coming from the driving instructor tasked with teaching the foreigner how to operate a non-mule-powered vehicle:

Michael Psenicska was duped into participating in the film after it was described to him as a “documentary about the integration of foreign people into the American way of life,” he said in a lawsuit filed in Manhattan federal court.

The suit named British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, who plays the title role, One America Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Film Corp., a unit of News Corp. It also named Todd Lewis, a representative of One America who is listed in other lawsuits as Todd Lewis Schulman.

Psenicska said he was paid $500 in cash to give Borat a driving lesson. He described the experience as “surreal,” saying Cohen drove erratically down residential streets, drank alcohol and yelled to a female pedestrian he would pay her $10 for “sexy time.”

The lawsuit seeks $400,000 in actual damages and additional punitive damages for misleading Psenicska and for emotional harm he continues to suffer. Psenicska said if he had known the true nature of the film, he never would have participated.

Psenicska’s action comes about a month after one filed by the Southern etiquette coach who tried to teach the faux-Kazakh that returning from the bathroom with one’s bagged feces is considered poor manners in most places in America. We suspect that both suits will eventually be dismissed like the one brought by those South Carolina fraternity brothers, with annoyed judges in Manhattan in Alabama informing both plaintiffs that they should probably consider themselves lucky their participation in the film didn’t involve being strangled by the fetid anus of Borat’s hirsute producer.


Christian Bale To Save Humanity From Killer Cyborg To Be Named Later [Trade Roundup]


h1 Monday, December 3rd, 2007

christian-bale.jpg· Unsatisfied at being the face of just one blockbuster franchise, Dark Knight star Christian Bale is in talks to join the next installment of the about-to-be-revived Terminator franchise. Somewhat disappointingly, he’s coming on as the John Connor character, not the latest iteration of the series’ (nearly) indestructible, killing-obsessed cyborg, which would have been a pretty amazing bit of casting. [Variety]
· Tom Petty will play Super Bowl halftime, a choice that will probably prevent the musical festivities from being marred by exposed nipples or terrifying demonschlongs, though the puckish rocker may decide to defy the conventional wisdom that he’s “safe” by hanging some brain in the middle of “Free Fallin’.” [THR]

· Today’s most dispiriting strike-related lede: “With both sides back at the barricades, many believe the writers strike won’t be resolved until March at the earliest.” See you on the other side of Armageddon, Hollywood survivors! [Variety]
· Onetime UPN pilot Tanner Hall, is being reborn as an indie feature film, starring Tom Everett Scott, Amy Sedaris, and Chris Kattan. [THR]
· In a happy side effect of the strike (for actors and studios), projects canceled by the work stoppage have freed up some big-name talent to shoot films until the DGA and SAG contracts expire in June.[Variety]


InTouch Presents BlackBerry Evidence About Britney Spears’ Rumored Knocking-Up [The Defense Rests]


h1 Thursday, November 29th, 2007

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Music producer/aspiring Britney Spears babydaddy J.R. Rotem is learning an important lesson about how technology is changing the world of tabloid gossip, courtesy of his once-close friends at InTouch. A day after he released a statement saying that there’s “absolutely no truth” to the magazine’s report that Spears’ oven is filled with his piping-hot, hitmaking bun, InTouch has counterattacked by releasing photos of a series of text messages in which he not only confirms his proud, possibly lucrative paternity, but claims she’s too “unpredicatable” [sic] for him to hazard a guess as to whether or not she’d “keep it.” Say what you will about Kevin Federline, but even in the early days of his relationship with Spears, he never would have left such an easily traceable digital trail when quietly trying to update the tabloids on his attempts to impreganate her.

The receptionists at Century Spa in Koreatown … [John Travolta]


h1 Thursday, November 29th, 2007

john-travolta1.jpgThe receptionists at Century Spa in Koreatown are still giddy over a recent visit paid by John Travolta, whose presence can be verified by fellow shvitzing patrons, the guys from L.A. Rag Mag. What to make of this beyond the fact that Century offers some of the best spa services in the city at the most reasonable prices? Why, we’re certain we have no idea! [laragmag.com]

Third-Place Finisher Marie Osmond Deprives ‘Dancing’ Audience Of Much-Anticipated Emotional Meltdown [Also-rans]


h1 Wednesday, November 28th, 2007


Truth be told, we can’t be made to care about who took home the Golden Tap Shoes–by far the most coveted of all the celebrity-based reality TV talent competition trophies–on last night’s Dancing with the Stars finale, even after discovering that the heady rush of victory was so overwhelming that the show’s new champion was moved to drop his fiancée like she was a tango partner who caught fire in the middle of a dip. The only reason we even bothered to tune in to the fifteen-hour coronation ceremony was to check in on Marie Osmond, America’s Emotionally Fragile Sweetheart, whom we weren’t sure would survive the defeat her now-legendary Baby Doll Dance of Despair made all but inevitable.

Thankfully, Osmond did somehow find the inner strength to weather this crushing disappointment, at least temporarily; as you can hear for yourself in the above clip, she made it through her brief concession speech without a meltdown. However, once the reality of her third-place finish finally sank in, she unexpectedly returned to the set with the giant key used to wind her up during her ill-received doll performance, nearly bludgeoning judge Bruno Tonioli to death with the prop for the perceived role his tragically sassy comment about her looking like a cross between “Baby Jane and the bride of Chucky” played in destroying her dreams.

A Week Of Hope And Heartbreak [The Clips Show]


h1 Friday, November 23rd, 2007

bachelor-finale.jpg· The Strike: Finally, new hope! And new snacks! Also, fresh videos from scribes who just can”t put those pencils down. · The Bachelor chooses no one, then is made to answer for his reality TV war crimes. · Tom Cruise: a mystery solved. · Donda West”s plastic surgeon shows up just long enough to tell Larry King he”s got nothing to say. · Did you remember to say a little prayer that Brad and Angie”s Thanksgiving holiday would end without hair-pulling? · A live 30 Rock was awesomely received. · David Fincher provided a brief guide to breaking the will of difficult actors · Julia Roberts” baby could probably be cuter. · How drunk is too drunk to effectively kiss Hollywood ass? The Most Smartest Model team investigates!

Now, officially, we have seen everything: … [Please Burn This City Down Immediately]


h1 Friday, November 23rd, 2007

tmz-grove.jpg Now, officially, we have seen everything: TMZ, perhaps hoping that Britney Spears will suffer another break with reality and head over to The Grove to drown herself in the mall fountain”s dancing waters as Black Friday shoppers gape at her latest cry for help, is running a live video feed from L.A.”s most meticulously engineered retail destination. Stay tuned for a cameo by a trolley full of tourists who think they might have just seen Hayden Panettiere duck into the American Girl Place superstore! [TMZ]

Your Weekend Of Curly Worship [To Do]


h1 Friday, November 23rd, 2007

three-stooges.jpgFriday · Music round-up: John Fogerty at the Nokia Theatre; Cold War Kids at the WIltern; Social Distortion at House of Blues; TSOL at Echoplex. · A Pretenders cover band, playing for free downtown? Sure, why not? Watch Pretentious channel the spirit of Chrissie Hynde at Pershing Square. Saturday · The Alex Theatre in Glendale hosts its 10th Annual Stooge-Fest, a big-screen tribute presenting what the Alex”s Blue Ribbon Panel of Stoogeologista consider the “best of the best” of Moe, Larry and Curly”s groundbreaking work in the pie-splattering, noggin-assaulting arts.

· More music: Band of Horses at Avalon; Social Distortion does a second night at House of Blues; Golden State at the Roxy. Sunday · The Aero screens David Lean/Omar Sharif/Peter O”Toole epic Lawrence of Arabia, a film whose 216 minute running time should nicely consume the entirety of a film buff”s lazy Sunday afternoon. · Join up at 2 p.m. with your newest friends as you take a photowalk down Olvera Street and stroll through of the one few places in Los Angeles you”re unlikely to encounter a Taco Bell, Baja Fresh, or El Pollo Loco.

Reheating Some Turkey and Stuffing For Our Advertisers [Sponsors]


h1 Friday, November 23rd, 2007

Join us in serving a delicious plate of Thanksgiving leftovers, warmed up through the sheer power of our red-hot love, to this week”s sponsors. If you”d like to advertise on Defamer and gorge on our reheated expression of gratitude, see this page.

Special thanks to: Crunch Fitness, Daft Punk, Dewars, Focus Features, The Goo Goo Dolls, Mandalay Bay, Margot at the Wedding, The Midway State, The New New Museum, Queer as Folk, Register.com, Uwushunu.com, The Whitest Kids U”Know

Bootlegged Trailers, Maligned Softballers, and Virtual Surgery [Short Ends]


h1 Monday, November 19th, 2007

· We know that you’ve already been tantalized by a Cloverfield trailer of barely watchable quality, so here’s a better one that should induce about 50 percent fewer seizures. Your neurologist can thank us later. [via Vulture]
· Donnie Osmond apologizes to Larry King for doubting the host’s motives in actually asking his sister a tough question she may not have been ready for.
· Where in the world is Paris Hilton? (Hint: it’s still not Rwanda.)
· Radar does some work on Owen Wilson’s face, taking all of the character out of his most instantly recognizable feature. (And they didn’t spare the scalpel for Darjeeling co-star Adrien Brody, either.)

Tom Hanks Ruins Julia Roberts’s Special Baby-Unveiling ‘Oprah’ Moment [Hating Your Kids]


h1 Monday, November 19th, 2007


In a rare televised coming together of three of the most powerful stars on the planet, Tom Hanks and a back-from-the-child-rearing-abyss Julia Roberts appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show today to promote Charlie Wilson’s War, the first of what is sure to be many vigorous lap dances performed by the pair for an always A-list-horny Oscar.

In the segment above, in which Roberts was about to unveil the very first public image of baby Henry, Hanks spoils the near-holy moment of celebrity-baby-fawning exaltedness with a series of loutish interjections. Still, we must give the actor some credit for being bold enough to speak the truth: The kid’s far from the cutest baby we’ve ever seen.