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Poor Madge!

According to a British report, Madonna is postponing her huge 50th birthday bash because of a sprained ankle.

Fuck the birthday party - hope she's swell by the time her tour is supposes to start in two weeks!!!!

The festivities for her big 50th were supposed to take place this coming Saturday at Madge's English country estate.

An insider tells the Mirror:

"Plans are very hush-hush but Madonna is definitely going to celebrate her milestone in style. Unfortunately not everything has gone as expected as she's had many other things on her mind - not least rehearsals for her Sticky And Sweet tour. On top of all the stress of this, she twisted her ankle over the weekend. She views this as a sign that perhaps she should postpone the formal birthday bash and play it by ear instead. Madonna now reckons it'll go ahead during a three-day break in the tour towards the end of the month, not next weekend."

Get well soon!

Hopefully it's nothing too serious!

[Image via WENN.]

They've got a new album coming out next month, and now…

Metallica has announced their first major headlining tour in years.

CLICK HERE to check out where and when they're playing.

10/21/2008 Glendale, AZ Jobing Arena
10/23/2008 Albuquerque, NM Tingley Coliseum
10/25/2008 Kansas City, MO Sprint Center
10/26/2008 Des Moines, IA Wells Fargo Arena
11/1/2008 Portland, OR Rose Quarter
11/3/2008 Salt Lake City, UT Energy Solutions Arena
11/4/2008 Denver, CO Pepsi Center
11/6/2008 Omaha, NE Qwest Center
11/8/2008 Moline, IL iWireless Center
11/9/2008 Columbus, OH Schottenstein Center
11/17/2008 St. Louis, MO Scottrade Center
11/18/2008 Tulsa, OK BOK Center
11/20/2008 Houston, TX Toyota Center
11/22/2008 Little Rock, AR Alltel Arena
11/23/2008 New Orleans, LA New Orleans Arena
12/1/2008 Seattle, WA Key Arena
12/2/2008 Vancouver, BC GM Place
12/4/2008 Calgary, Canada Pengrowth Saddledome
12/7/2008 Edmonton, Canada Rexall Place
12/12/2008 Ontario, CA Citizens Bank Arena
12/13/2008 Fresno, CA Save Mart Center
12/15/2008 San Diego, CA Cox Arena
12/17/2008 Los Angeles, CA The Forum
12/20/2008 Oakland, CA Oracle Arena
1/12/2009 Milwaukee, WI Bradley Center
1/13/2009 Detroit, MI Joe Louis Arena
1/15/2009 Washington, DC Verizon Center
1/17/2009 Philadelphia, PA Wachovia Center
1/18/2009 Boston, MA TD Banknorth Center
1/26/2009 Chicago, IL Allstate Arena
1/29/2009 Uniondale, NY Nassau Coliseum
1/31/2009 Newark, NJ Prudential Center

After a morning of such heavy topics as death, domestic violence and politics, it's time for some lighter fare. And you can't get lighter than Kate Bosworth in a bikini. She was at the beach yesterday with her boyfriend who I'm going to assume thought he was helping a starving Ethiopian find food. But instead he ended up having sex with Kate Bosworth. Man, if I had a nickel...

Nicole Richie and her friend Vanessa Traina, Danielle Steel's daughter, wore matching jean shorts and black ankle boots for a girls' day out in Hollywood on Saturday. Nicole never stays away from her baby for too long though, taking Harlow for a stroll in Glendale on Sunday morning. The cute celebrity baby must have heard how much we loved her adorable toes, because she poked her teeny foot out of the blanket so we could sneak a peek.

Bauer-Griffin Online and Final Pixx

Lynne Spears new book Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World will hit bookshelves next month and it appears ol' Lynne is cashing in her kids' lives. The book includes chapters on Britney's meltdown and Jamie Lynn's teenage pregnancy. Without these tests of inner strength, Lynne might not have had the fortitude to write this book and totally pay off her Mercedes. E! Online reports:

"The stories Lynne shares reveal the heart of a mother who struggles to keep faith at the center of her life through its many unexpected twists and serendipitous turns," the prereview states. The book retails for $24.99.
According to BreatheHeavy, a Britney fansite, the publisher says the book sheds light on much more, even touching on Britney's breakdown, Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy and the infamous Sam Lutfi.

The Superficial has obtained an advanced copy of the book and would like to present its readers with an exclusive excerpt from the Sam Lutfi chapter. Through the Storm on bookshelves Sept. 16: IX. Douchebeard at the Helm There we were in Britney's living room. She demanded I let her watch Crossroads for the third time that night or else she'd eat an entire bucket of chicken and throw her career down the toilet. This was, of course, months after the MTV VMA debacle, so I couldn't have cared less if she wanted to devour a live buffalo. (I would eat those words later during a trip to the zoo.) When I explained to her she was holding a decorative basket full of pine cones, the situation became nuclear. "Stop sleeping with my boyfriend! MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!" Much to my horror, she began eating the pine cones. She always had strong teeth as a child, but my word, those things didn't stand a chance. Sam Lutfi simply laughed and continued stuffing that damn duffel bag of his full of cash. You figured he'd at least be subtle about it, but that's when I knew: I had to have him. We made love in the garage, and to this day, I never knew if Britney saw the whole thing. I didn't even notice her there until she tried to butter her toast with the hedge clippers. Fortunately, no one got hurt except for the bodyguard she stabbed to death. His family asked a lot of questions. I mean, geez, get over it already.

Italian clothing designer Roberto Cavalli tells the UK's Observer Food Monthly that Kate Moss does not have "what it takes to be a true star."

He goes on to say he prefers to work with "artists" such as Diddy instead of professional catwalkers because:

"For me, models are just pieces of wood that I carve to make clothes look beautiful. There are thousands of models like all other models. Naomi Campbell is the same way."

He better steer clear of the notorious Naomi!

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

There's a ranking for everything these days!

Forbes just came out with a list of the ten top-earning celebrity chefs.

In the #1 spot is Oprah fave Rachael Ray, who pulls in about $18 million a year.

It pays to be in with the big O!

Here's the rest of the list. The names will be very familiar to all you Food Network junkies:

2. Wolfgang Puck - $16 million
3. Gordon Ramsay- $7.5 million
4. Nobuyuki Matsuhisa - $5 million
5. Alain Ducasse - $5 million
6. Paula Deen - $4.5 million
7. Mario Batali - $3 million
8. Tom Colicchio - $2 million
9. Bobby Flay - $1.5 million
10. Anthony Bourdain - $1.5 million

[Image via WENN.]

Hollyscoop is reporting that Hayden Panettiere's mom Lesley got drunk as hell last night at the benefit for the Whaleman Foundation and was flirting with other men. She allegedly decided to smack her husband Alan around who was also tanked and either trying to stop her from causing a scene or simply orchestrating a Taco Bell run:

"Hayden's mom drank way too much and was being rude to everyone. Her Dad was trying to put her in her place. Lesley striked him several times before he hit her," said our spy.
Our source confirmed that Hayden's parents started arguing while at the Whaleman Benefit dinner at Beso last night because Lesley was allegedly flirting with another man, and the argument escalated when they went home.

Jesus. Nothing like causing a giant drunken ruckus on your daughter's special night. I mean, Britney Spears managed to attend a charity function without making a complete ass out of herself - and she doesn't even know how to read! But don't despair; The road to healing starts by realizing you're worse than a career genital flasher. You can learn all this and more in my new book "Seriously, What the Fuck?: An Inspirational Journey of the Soul."

Then do not CLICK HERE!

Keira Knightley on the cover of the new issue of Vogue. Ewwwww!

There's always drama around The Donald!

Donald Trump is suing his old attorneys at the firm of Morrison Cohen for $5 million, saying the firm's use of his name on its website and in interviews violated his privacy.

Donald's suit claims the attorneys have unjustly made money by using his name and image without his consent "for advertising purposes".

His suit says: "Defendants, without Trump's written consent, have used — really commercially exploited — Mr. Trump's name and reputation, and continue to do so, on Morrison Cohen's website…"

On Monday, the law firm dismissed the lawsuit as an attempt by Trump to avoid paying $600,000 in overdue legal fees.

"We are pursuing our collections claim, we are adamant that we get paid for the services rendered, and we view this claim by the Trump organization as completely frivolous," said the firm's chairman.

Isn't there a client-attorney confidentiality rule or something out there?

Are lawyers allowed to say who they're representing without their client's permission?

Wonder who'll win this battle!

[Image via WENN.]

It looks like NBC’s $900 million payout for the U.S. broadcast rights of the 2008 Olympics was a good move.

According to a new report, NBC’s Olympics coverage is drawing huge audiences.

Beijing 2008 could set some record TV ratings for NBC!

NBC said the first two days of the Beijing Olympics drew an average audience of 29.1 million, making it the most highly rated broadcast of the Summer Games held outside the United States since 1976.

The net also went on to report that in total, 114 million viewers tuned in for at least part of its broadcast in the first two days, about 20 million more than the 2004 games in Athens, citing figures from Nielsen Media Research.

Like many of y’all, we’ve tuned in to see swimming sensation Michael Phelps.

Experts say the thrill of seeing him chase Mark Spitz’s record is helping to drive up viewership numbers.

We can’t wait for more gymnastics!

[Image via WENN.]

First, the world waited to see the first photos of Angelina Jolie's newborn twins. Now, we wait to see who she'll endorse to be President of the United States. My God, how much power does this woman have? How do we know her breasts aren't intergalactic weapons of doom that will enslave us all? You don't see Hannity & Colmes tackling that issue. For the record, I volunteer myself to investigate. Wilshire & Washington reports:

"I have not decided on a candidate," Jolie says, "I am waiting to see the commitments they will make on issues like international justice, refugees and how to address the needs of children in crisis around the world."
Unlike many other celebrity endorsements, Jolie's carries the weight and influence of her extensive humanitarian work around the world, as the goodwill ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Her statement was an indication that she would be open to choosing a candidate.

Yeah, all that stuff. But who is Angelina leaning towards? Turns out it's a toss-up:

In June, when Entertainment Weekly asked her whether she talked politics with Clint Eastwood, a longtime Republican, on the set of the upcoming movie, "The Changeling," she said, "Actually, we don't disagree as much as you'd think. I think people assume I'm a Democrat. But I'm registered independent and I'm still undecided. So I'm looking at McCain as well as Obama."

To put things into perspective: Angelina Jolie's father Jon Voight wrote an op-ed piece for the Washington Times essentially claiming Barack Obama would turn America into Louis Farrakhan Land and enslave the white race. So, for all you political junkies out there, look for Angelina to endorse whichever candidate has a firm stance on kicking your old man down the stairs when he forgets his pills. (Psst. Probably not McCain.)

Hayden Panettiere hosted a charity benefit last night for the Whaleman Foundation at Eva Longoria's restaurant Beso. What was supposed to be a special evening for the Heroes star, turned into a crapfest when Hayden's father punched her mother twice after getting in an argument at home later that night. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Alan and Lesley Panettiere were at a party earlier in the evening. We're told Alan was upset because Lesley was "hanging" with someone at the shindig and he felt she was "disrespecting" him.
Sources say, according to Lesley's statement to Sheriffs, the couple went home, began arguing and he struck her in the cheek. We're told cops took pictures and there are visible marks.
Paramedics advised her she should go to the hospital but she refused. Alan did not give a statement to the police. It's unclear if any of their kids were at the house at the time of the incident.

Jesus, what a colossal dick. Milo Ventimiglia better be taking good care of Hayden, my sweet midget love. Yeah, it's common knowledge she's about to dump his ass and run away with me as far as $4.50 will get us on a Greyhound, but that's not important right now. What is important is Milo manning up and being a shoulder to cry on. No tongue! UPDATE: Turns out both parents were shitfaced, according to TMZ: "Alan told cops when they arrived, 'I'm Alan. Yeah, I just got into an argument with my drunk wife.'" Interesting. Cue Hayden Panettiere becoming the new Lindsay Lohan in 5, 4, 3, 2 - Flame on!

John Edwards comes clean about cheating on his cancer-stricken wife; the bastard child is still up for grabs. (Derek Hail)

Hayden Panettiere’s dad punches her mother in the face! (MollyGood)

John Travolta gets his Scientology Anniversary Gala and his shitty toupee on. (Use My Computer)

See what dating George Clooney does to your vagina — and it’s not pretty. (Holy Moly)

Time to use that six-shooter you’ve kept hidden behind the grate in your bathroom for more than just scratching your asshole and threatening the mailman. (Websters)

Me to James Franco: all aboard! (Pajiba)

Guess which celebrity owns that set of cottage-cheese thighs! (CelebSlam)

“Shaft” theme-writer and Chef from South Park Isaac Hayes dead at 65. (CelebSmack)

It’s time to spay or neuter your Jenna Jameson! (popbytes)

Blake Lively upskirt! (The Blemish)

Kate Moss and Sylvester Stallone discuss the finer points of rumpology. (Agent Bedhead)

Jewel marries a cowboy! (CelebNewsWire)

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