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Heath Ledger stayed out of the NYC rain with a stylish purple umbrella yesterday afternoon. It’s a good thing he figured out how to clip his keys to his belt loop because there’s no way he was getting it in his pocket — hey now, tight pants. From that umbrella on down to his shoelaces he’s really quite coordinated with his purple and red accessories. He’s nowhere near as cute as when he’s got little Matilda on his shoulders, but at least he’s got an eye for color.

Bauer-Griffin

· We know that you’ve already been tantalized by a Cloverfield trailer of barely watchable quality, so here’s a better one that should induce about 50 percent fewer seizures. Your neurologist can thank us later. [via Vulture]
· Donnie Osmond apologizes to Larry King for doubting the host’s motives in actually asking his sister a tough question she may not have been ready for.
· Where in the world is Paris Hilton? (Hint: it’s still not Rwanda.)
· Radar does some work on Owen Wilson’s face, taking all of the character out of his most instantly recognizable feature. (And they didn’t spare the scalpel for Darjeeling co-star Adrien Brody, either.)

In a rare televised coming together of three of the most powerful stars on the planet, Tom Hanks and a back-from-the-child-rearing-abyss Julia Roberts appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show today to promote Charlie Wilson’s War, the first of what is sure to be many vigorous lap dances performed by the pair for an always A-list-horny Oscar.

In the segment above, in which Roberts was about to unveil the very first public image of baby Henry, Hanks spoils the near-holy moment of celebrity-baby-fawning exaltedness with a series of loutish interjections. Still, we must give the actor some credit for being bold enough to speak the truth: The kid’s far from the cutest baby we’ve ever seen.

• The Oprah Winfrey Show

Esta chica esta loca!!! And we LOVE it!

Mariah has included some skits on her new Adventures Of Mimi DVD.

This one dedicated to the “Lovers and haters” is quite HIGHlarious.

Priceless!

You put the lotion in the basket!!!!

Guess who needs some new luggage?

· The Strike - Week 2: Bring Your Kids to the Strike Day; the Empire strikes back; what the AMPTP isn’t telling you (anymore); Picketing with the Stars; and what of the assistants?; Strike Dancing Fever!; a diaper-wearing star is born; hatin’ on tiny-penis havers; munching on flatulence; Not The Daily Show; Gays gay-up the strike gaily; “Wha’chu talkin’ ’bout, Counter?”; the 93-year-old striker is almost as cute as the baby; a world without patter.
· Kissing Kirk Douglas.
· Sharon Stone clearly has had some work done.
· It’s beginning to feel a lot like fake Christmas.
· All roads in the sad death of Donda West lead to this dude.
· The Week in Sexiest Men Who Are Still Breathing: Matt Damon wins! No–the Conchords win. Wait. No. Dwight Schrute wins.
· Why do bad things happen to good Ellens?
· In Runway, sometimes you’re thin, and sometimes you’re out.
· Correction: Paris thinks elephants should be able to get drunk if they want to.
· Rolling out Dick Clark for another Rockin’ Eve.
· Little-known Spider-Man facts: Hails from Mississauga, Ontario, wears no foundation garments.
· Come on a Hooker Safari with us.
· If only O.J. Simpson would shut up about beer-making and let you enjoy your copy of Sky.
· Lindsay does her hour-and-a-half, and it’s all good.

Heidi Klum’s dress did a bad/awesome?/I dunno job of covering her ass at the 12th Annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last night. As you can tell I’m not really sure how I feel about these shots, but I’ve decided to share them with you. Maybe because I hate you or maybe because I love you. It all depends on your interpretation of Heidi Klum’s ass crack. Actually, I’d prefer this instead of those ink blot tests my therapist uses. All I ever see in those things is Hayden Panettiere punching a dinosaur. Yeah, she’s mostly mad because my dad ordered us a new mommy from Russia because old mommy “didn’t understand that scotch gives daddy his superpowers.” Which makes sense. Whenever I drink scotch I suddenly develop the uncanny ability to vomit into the dishwasher. I should fight crime.

Lindsay mug shot from her 84 minute incarceration on Thursday.

U like????

Last night in LA Eva Longoria came out in a cute, slinky gold dress to open up her new restaurant, Beso, and promote Samsung’s newest Blackjack II. GeekSugar and I were lucky enough to score an invite to the event where we enjoyed the awesome new space alongside the likes of Eva and The Hills girls. Whitney was there all night (and adorable) while LC and Audrina showed up fashionably late just a little before midnight. Unfortunately, they weren’t filming their tooooootally not fake show. Also, I somehow missed adorable Zachary Levi from Chuck, boo, but I did get a good John Voight sighting . . . random. Music for the evening was provided by the Ronson siblings with Samantha spinning and Mark’s band performing. Fun times in Hollywood.

To see more from the party including Blake Lewis, Eva, Heidi Fleiss, Samantha Ronson, Mark Ronson, and others

read more

Jessica Alba poses on the red carpet during the premiere of Awake in New York last night. Wow, I’ll tell you something that is awake after looking at these pictures. Aw, is someone grumpy this morning? You want some coffee? No, you’re going straight for the liquor cabinet. I don’t really think schnapps is part of a balanced breakfast. Oh, again with the laser beams. Very cute. Jesus! You blew up the toaster! Great, what if I wanted some tasty Eggo waffles? Just drink your schnapps and watch cartoons - or, okay, porn, fine whatever. So, uh, listen, about your part of the rent. Hey, power down those balls when I’m talking to you.

A new trailer for Cloverfield (now officially its inscrutable title!), the JJ Abrams-produced monster movie whose secrets are being guarded as ruthlessly guarded as those of the upcoming Indiana Jones sequel that has already destroyed two lives, has “mysteriously” been “leaked” onto the internets in advance of its debut before screenings of Beowulf this weekend.The quality of the footage is, to be charitable, shitty; still, that won’t stop fans desperate to devour any morsel they allegedly aren’t supposed to be gobbling down until tomorrow from scouring the video frame by frame, hoping that somewhere in those blurry shadows lies the utterly terrifying truth about the nature of the cinematic beast Abrams and company will unleash up on the world in January.

• Full CLOVERFIELD trailer (new!!) [YouTube via Gone Elsewhere]

Left: Kelly Osbourne. Right: Gay porn star Francois Sagat.

Guess who is stopping by the studio?

Victoria’s Secret Angels Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio and others posed in front of the Kodak Theater on Hollywood in honor of Victoria’s Secret 25th Anniversary yesterday. Oh, so that’s why they were all on that plane. Here I thought it was for something awesome. Like naked pudding gymnastics. Or naked ninja pudding fights. Or maybe even something as sweet as naked tank wars – in pudding.

A ton more pics after the jump.

Note: This post brought to you by pudding. I had some for lunch. While possibly naked.

Congratulations are in order for actress/scenester/pre-achievement semicelebrity Rumer Willis, who earlier today was crowned Miss Golden Globe 2008, the single highest honor the Hollywood Foreign Press Association can bestow upon the female, teenage progeny of an internationally recognizable performer whose staggering success is unlikely to be replicated by his or her pampered offspring.

Though there was nothing he could do to completely dispel the faint whiff of inevitable career shortfall that hangs over each annual coronation ceremony, HFPA president Jorge Camara did imbue the event with an extra soupcon of hope by reminding the assembled press that Willis, as a slightly rarer Double Miss Golden Globe–a product of the magical acts of star-on-star sexual congress that strengthen royal Tinseltown bloodlines too often diluted by one nonfamous gene-donor–she’ll always enjoy the added advantage of having two parents (not to mention a generous and supportive step-Kutcher) who can call in casting favors for as long as she decides to keep chasing her probably unattainable Hollywood dreams.

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Rumer Willis Selected As 2008 Miss Golden Globe [HFPA.org]