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Brandon Routh married his fiancée Courtney Ford at producer Jon Peter’s ranch over the weekend. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger created a “no-fly zone” over the area in honor of the occasion, but Superman Returns director Bryan Singer decided to be a dick about it, according to Page Six:

Bryan Singer pulled a “big Diana Ross diva move,” another wedding guest giggled, by “insisting on flying in on a helicopter.”

I’m going to let Bryan Singer slide on this one because he made a Superman movie that I can relate to. I’m talking about Superman knocking up Lois Lane then fleeing the planet. It’s exactly like the story of my own life complete with a messianic theme and a John William’s score. I can’t wait to watch it with my kid someday. If I ever decide we should finally meet because I want to borrow some of his student loan money.

Paulina Rubio performs at the Sports Awards 2007 Gala in Madrid.

We don’t mind the flashing, but that belt???

That belt HAS GOT to go!

[Image via JPI Studios.]

• Andy Samberg hams it up with Martha Stewart — MarthaStewart.com
• Julia Roberts thinks she should have played Mariane Pearl? — D-Listed
• Orlando Bloom is in a rush — Just Jared
• LC and Whitney play debutante in Paris — Pink is the New Blog
• Zac Hanson’s going to be a dad — People
• Brooke Hogan hangs out poolside — Egotastic
• Actors go speechless to support writers — BuzzSugar
• Dolly Parton’s still getting plastic surgery — cityrag
• Tyra Banks isn’t a big fan of her real hair — Hollwood Rag
• Ian Ziering’s ex wife hangs on the beach — Hollywood Tuna
• Rihanna chows down — IDLYITW
• Guess the celebrity kid — MollyGood

Katie Price (a.k.a. Jordan the large chested, wonky-eyed Brit) is undergoing breast reduction surgery for Christmas, according to The Sun:

The former glamour girl, who was also showing off her new brown rinse, is going under the knife before Christmas to have a breast reduction for hubby PETER ANDRE.
She says the surgery will make them more “perky”.

I’m not a marriage counselor. But one time I chugged an entire Viking helmet full of beer. So close enough. Anyway, I always thought it went without saying that a breast reduction is the worst Christmas present any wife could get her husband – ever. I mean, besides telling him she’s pregnant. But, seriously, what is wrong with Peter Andre that he’d actually want this? Dude, if you’re tired of Katie’s gigantic cans, I’ll take her off your hands. That way you can have more time to spend with your glasses and hair gel. And, when I bring her back, that crazy eye will be back to normal. Don’t ask me how, but I’ll give you a hint: it’ll be from all the sex.

NOTE: I included pics from Katie’s launch of her new fragrance “Stunning.” Mostly because I’m impressed she’s actually making normal faces and, well, able to stand without tipping over.

This is equal parts desperate and hilarious.

Enjoy!

“Hello Perez

My name is Tiffany Dupont from the movie Queen Esther. I want to let you know a little secret that I don’t care to keep anymore. I actually slept with Tom Cruise and George Clooney. I had sex with both of them this past year. The way I did it was that I actually offered myself to them when I got a chance to meet them hoping that would boost my acting career. If you want to contact them you can, but like most Hollywood actors they’ll all deny it. I’ve done other shows like the Bedford Diaries and such. My website address is http://tiffany-dupont.com/welcome.shtml . If you want to contact me my number and address is XXXXX

Tiffany Dupont

God Bless”

Guess which superstar had a long day?

Come on!

Really???

In a transparent bid for attention, Tara Reid went shopping on Black Friday at the shops on Robertson Blvd., aka paparazzi central.

Jennifer Love Hewitt must be out of town! They could have gone shopping together!

P.S. If you know you’re going to be photographed, wouldn’t you want to put in a little effort into your appearance????

[Image via WENN.]

Guess who has some new long hair?

Dita Von Teese performed her burlesque act at Erotica 07 in London today. Her act included a peacock-esque outfit which she stripped out of before pouring water on herself in a giant bird cage. Wow, this show has everything: A woman showering in a cage like God intended and the illusion of sexuality. I say illusion because she’s still wearing a thong and pasties. If Dita really wanted to be sexy she’d be totally naked and I’d be in that cage dressed like an owl. Or even an eagle. It doesn’t matter. As long as we fly away to the magical land of Doing-It-Ville.

Some awesome, despite the pasties, NSFW pics of Dita’s shower after the jump.

· The Strike: Finally, new hope! And new snacks! Also, fresh videos from scribes who just can”t put those pencils down. · The Bachelor chooses no one, then is made to answer for his reality TV war crimes. · Tom Cruise: a mystery solved. · Donda West”s plastic surgeon shows up just long enough to tell Larry King he”s got nothing to say. · Did you remember to say a little prayer that Brad and Angie”s Thanksgiving holiday would end without hair-pulling? · A live 30 Rock was awesomely received. · David Fincher provided a brief guide to breaking the will of difficult actors · Julia Roberts” baby could probably be cuter. · How drunk is too drunk to effectively kiss Hollywood ass? The Most Smartest Model team investigates!

Now, officially, we have seen everything: TMZ, perhaps hoping that Britney Spears will suffer another break with reality and head over to The Grove to drown herself in the mall fountain”s dancing waters as Black Friday shoppers gape at her latest cry for help, is running a live video feed from L.A.”s most meticulously engineered retail destination. Stay tuned for a cameo by a trolley full of tourists who think they might have just seen Hayden Panettiere duck into the American Girl Place superstore! [TMZ]

Friday · Music round-up: John Fogerty at the Nokia Theatre; Cold War Kids at the WIltern; Social Distortion at House of Blues; TSOL at Echoplex. · A Pretenders cover band, playing for free downtown? Sure, why not? Watch Pretentious channel the spirit of Chrissie Hynde at Pershing Square. Saturday · The Alex Theatre in Glendale hosts its 10th Annual Stooge-Fest, a big-screen tribute presenting what the Alex”s Blue Ribbon Panel of Stoogeologista consider the “best of the best” of Moe, Larry and Curly”s groundbreaking work in the pie-splattering, noggin-assaulting arts.

· More music: Band of Horses at Avalon; Social Distortion does a second night at House of Blues; Golden State at the Roxy. Sunday · The Aero screens David Lean/Omar Sharif/Peter O”Toole epic Lawrence of Arabia, a film whose 216 minute running time should nicely consume the entirety of a film buff”s lazy Sunday afternoon. · Join up at 2 p.m. with your newest friends as you take a photowalk down Olvera Street and stroll through of the one few places in Los Angeles you”re unlikely to encounter a Taco Bell, Baja Fresh, or El Pollo Loco.

Join us in serving a delicious plate of Thanksgiving leftovers, warmed up through the sheer power of our red-hot love, to this week”s sponsors. If you”d like to advertise on Defamer and gorge on our reheated expression of gratitude, see this page.

Special thanks to: Crunch Fitness, Daft Punk, Dewars, Focus Features, The Goo Goo Dolls, Mandalay Bay, Margot at the Wedding, The Midway State, The New New Museum, Queer as Folk, Register.com, Uwushunu.com, The Whitest Kids U”Know

Inspiring words from Eva Longoria in the new issue of Parade magazine.

The Desperate Housewives star opens up about her older sister, Liza, and how she’s been influenced and inspired by her.

“Liza is mentally challenged,” Eva reveals. “She was my hero growing up. It was a blessing to watch her overcome every obstacle—tying her shoes, putting on a shirt, getting out the front door. And yet she still had a job and would come home on the bus by herself and help with dinner. You could only imagine the hurdles she encountered every minute of the day.”

Eva’s mother, Ella, became a special-education teacher to help Liza and others coping with disabilities.

“Liza was a role model to get me ready for life in Hollywood,” Longoria adds. “You don’t take health for granted. You don’t take life for granted. It seems so insignificant to go, ‘Darn it, I didn’t get that movie role,’ or, ‘Darn it, so-and-so is wearing the same dress as me to the Emmys.’ I didn’t know there was another way. I thought everyone should be sensitive and somewhat unselfish.”

“My family is extremely optimistic,” she continues. “I’m really blessed. It’s just in my nature to be cheerful. I don’t try to be that way, but I’ve learned there’s no better medicine than laughing.”

Eva credits her whole work ethic to her mother. “She raised us [Longoria and her three sisters] on a teacher’s salary with my dad working all the time. I don’t know how she did it. That’s why I never feel like I’m doing enough. I have to constantly do more and more, because it’s nothing compared to what my mother did.”

Her childhood experiences have driven her to charitable involvements, including Padres Contra El Cáncer (Parents Against Cancer) and the Entertainment Industry Foundation/Callaway Golf Foundation, where she tries to raise awareness of ovarian cancer. “I’m a woman, I’m a daughter, and I have a sister with a mental disability,” she says. “So a lot of causes are very relevant to me.” Her sister Liza is the inspiration for the actress’s own San Antonio-based Eva’s Heroes. “We help intellectually disabled children grow and play,” she explains. “We set up after-school programs, and we’ve put on golf tournaments to raise money where I prove that I’m a terrible golfer. But I can drive a mean golf cart and wear the cute outfits.”

Eva is passionate about the need for people like U to get involved too. “You can never think, ‘I’m not rich. I’m not famous. What could I possibly do?’ ” she says. “What makes the world go ’round is everyday people.”

Amen! Amen!

- CLICK HERE for more information on Eva’s Heroes

- CLICK HERE for more information on Padres Contra El Cáncer

and

- CLICK HERE for more information on the Entertainment Industry Foundation.

[Image via WENN.]

Britney Spears hired a private investigator yesterday to keep an eye on her ex-husband Kevin Federline. Upon finding out, Kevin’s lawyers immediately pissed themselves laughing. Us Weekly reports:

“I think that if that is what they need to do, or have to do, to have at it,” Federline’s counsel, Mark Vincent Kaplan, tells Usmagazine.com. “I don’t think it will, in anyway, be a good expenditure of funds. But I can’t stop that from happening.”

Mark Kaplan also stated that Kevin Federline could care less about the news:

“I don’t think he would be concerned about it, and I don’t think he has to change anything he is doing in order to address that.”

I don’t know what Britney’s hoping to accomplish. It’s not like Kevin Federline is murdering cocktail waitresses in his basement or something. And even if he was, would it make a difference? Not really. In the meantime, Britney Spears should just focus on whatever it is that she does. Which appears to be driving a car with a blanket on her head. Hmm, kind of an unorthodox way to win back custody of your kids, and some might say a recipe for vehicular manslaughter, but at least she’s trying.