Monday, May 28th, 2007
It’s racing season!
And Jude Law loves a man in uniform.
The actor with the world’s sexiest receding hairline attempted to butch it up at the Monaco Grand Prix this past weekend, posing with British racer Lewis Hamilton, who came in second.
After the race, Jude congratulated the driver with a very special massage.
Man on man rubbing doesn’t make you gay!
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
Click here to listen to Scott Stapp’s hysterical wife call police after he allegedly assaulted her this past weekend.
Talk of guns, booze, and Orangina bottles.
Gotta love it!
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
Paris Hilton was spotted in LA conveniently carrying around in front of paparazzi a self-help book called The Power Of Now and - wait for it - The Holy Bible. Did I mention she also forgot her bra? I dunno if that’s relevant, but she also forgot her bra. I can’t believe this is the best tactic clowns like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan can come up with to change their public image. Actually, no, wait, yes I can believe it. What I can’t believe is that they manage to make it through the day without the aid of a bicycle helmet.
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
Let it never be said that Paramount emperor Brad Grey is not a beneficent ruler: To celebrate the success of partner DreamWorks Animation’s Shrek the Third, he’s setting his subjects free a day early for the Memorial Day weekend, an act of generosity that should remind everyone on the Melrose lot that the Paramount Pictures logo can be found somewhere on the one-sheet of the latest. record-breaking installment of the previously established DW mega-franchise. Grey’s e-mail to the company follows, which stops just short of promising all of his underlings an all-expenses-paid week in Cancun should the opening weekend performance of upcoming co-production Transformers bring still more glory to the Paramount name:
From: [redacted] - Paramount
Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2007 4:54 PM
To: NotesMail_All
Subject: Message from Brad Grey - Congratulations!!Congratulations to everyone at DreamWorks Animation and Paramount Pictures on the spectacular opening for SHREK THE THIRD this weekend.
With a 3-day box office gross of $122M, everyone’s hard work clearly paid off and together we reached several noteworthy milestones:
* The third highest opening weekend in box office history
* The highest opening weekend of all time for an animated film
* Paramount’s biggest opening weekend everAgain, congratulations to Jeffrey and all of our friends and partners at DreamWorks Animation. SHREK THE THIRD is a triumph for everyone at DWA and Paramount Pictures around the world.
To celebrate, we’d like you to kick off the Memorial Day Weekend a little early - so take Friday off, compliments of the big green Ogre.
Enjoy the long weekend,
Brad
Monday, May 21st, 2007
David Hasselhoff’s children have not one but two crazy parents.
Despite this widely seen video of an obbliterated drunk Hoff eating a burger, a judge on Tuesday granted custody to him of his two kids.
Apparently, the mother is CRAZY and the court thinks its in the best interest of the children if they stay with their father for the next two weeks, when the next hearing is scheduled.
Hasselhoff went into court the underdog, stripped of any visitation with his kids - in the wake of the drunk video.
But TMZ is reporting that the judge was stunned by the evidence presented by the court appointed expert who performed psychological evaluations on the family.
The expert apparently said that Pamela Bach, Hasselhoff’s ex, was abusive to her kids - especially Hayley, the younger of the two. The expert also noted that Bach refused drug testing, among many other things.
We hope those two kids are getting lots of counseling!
Monday, May 21st, 2007
Lindsay Lohan partied at Anchor Bar with two friends the other night and was spotted “drinking vodka straight from the bottle.” Which, in case you didn’t know, is exactly what’s recommended after leaving rehab. As is getting lip injections and looking like some sort of cartoon clown prostitute. I’m pretty sure she put her lipstick on with a mop.
Monday, May 21st, 2007
(released to Ain’t It Cool on Saturday), the actor’s latest attempt to make ageist Hollywood take notice of the perfectly competent, fading action star it so callously discarded at the begging of the decade. Be forewarned: the footage is bloody, so depending on your workplace’s policy on viewing graphic violence perpetrated by a Vietnam veteran driven insane from botched cosmetic surgery that’s rendered him nearly unrecognizable from his younger, PTSD-powered-vigilante self, you may need to watch it on your lunch break.In other Stallone news, the Australian justice system has delivered a resounding wrist-slap for his importing of illegal muscle-embiggening substances into their country.
Friday, May 11th, 2007
They really do grow up so fast!
Jennifer Garner preparers to spend her second mother’s day as a mom by having a little outing with her precious daughter, Violet.
That baby has grown so much. Just look at her five months ago!
Monday, May 7th, 2007
Jessica Simpson showed up to the 2nd Anniverarsy of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge in Las Vegas with her boobs once again prominently displayed. Which I can only assume is a diversionary tactic to draw attention away from her face. It’s not even that she looks bad here, just kind of weird, like a really tanned zombie. Although if you listen carefully, you can actually hear the sound of Joe Simpson somewhere getting a boner. And that somewhere? My bedroom. Rowr! Wait, what? Oh, no. Oh God, no!
A ton more of Jessica Simpson and her huge cleavage after the jump.
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
Britney Spears posed topless at a friend’s house last month with some flowers. And, uh, here they are. Although I have no idea why anybody is asking Britney Spears to get topless. Six years ago this would’ve been amazing, but now they could’ve put a seal in a silly hat and thrown some flowers at it and it would’ve turned out hotter. If it weren’t for the outfit, I wouldn’t even have been able to tell this was a girl.
NOTE: Yes, these are real. Very real, and very horrifying. If you get aroused by these you’re required by law to turn in your penis.
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
If the number of full-page Variety and Hollywood Reporter suck-up ads purchased in one’s honor on the day he receives Walk of Fame immortality is a reliable metric of an individual’s popularity in the industry, then we could quickly conclude from a quick survey of recent star-on-a-dirty-sidewalk honorees that everyone in Hollywood is trying to get into Halle Berry’s pants (in fairness, she did pretty much invite the whole town to get all up inside her), while no one but Warner Bros. would much mind if erstwhile hairstylist and Superman Returns producer Jon Peters decided to give up the moviemaking business and open a salon in Beverly Hills. Today’s Page Six reports:
MOVIE people are laughing over the cover of yesterday’s Hollywood Reporter with a bleached-blond Jon Peters on the cover. Peters - the hairdresser who parlayed an affair with Barbra Streisand into a career producing such movies as “A Star Is Born,” “Caddyshack,” “Rain Man” and “Superman Returns” - was featured in the trade journal because he’s getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Friends and business associates were asked to advertise in the paper, but did not. Streisand was conspicuously absent from its pages, as were Peter Guber, Mark Canton, Stacey Snider and Ron Meyer. “All he got besides Terry Semel and Warner Bros. was his business manager, his stockbroker and an architectural firm,” said one Left Coast insider. At least Peters can enjoy his 3,000-acre Arabian horse ranch.
Above is the lone Variety ad from yesterday (we don’t have a copy of the THR handy) recognizing Peters’ Walk of Fame induction; even when it seems his supposed industry pals have abandoned him, he can at least take solace in the fact that his Superman partners cared enough to have an intern whip up that “Thanks for a Super time!” sentiment, sparing him the embarrassment of a Var shutout on his special day.
[Image: Digital Variety]
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
God bless Dina Lohan - craziest stagemom ever!
This ho has been angling for a talk show forever now, even comparing herself to a white Oprah.
Now, an inside source - probably Dina herself - tells OK! magazine that Lindsay’s mom is itching to fill Rosie O’Donnell hole on The View. (A big hole it will be!)
“Dina has been calling producers,” the source says.
No word on whether they’ve picked up her calls or not!
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
I’m not quite sure if this is Britney Spears but it does look like her. As well, they look pretty recent. Anyway, if it is infact Britney Spears topless then any suspicion that she ever had implants can go out the window because those are some real boobies.
Related Articles:
Staring Directly At A Drunken Britney Spears May Cause Blindness
Britney Spears Has Flipped Her Wig
Britney Spears Borrows Bikini From Stranger & Then Gets Drunk. No Joke
