DirtyWash.com

· It’s an honor just to get one step closer to not losing: The Dream is over. The entire snub call-sheet. “Like, yoicks!” ” Playing the Oscar race card. Helen Mirren is a DILF with a secret allegiance. The Best Actress category goes full frontal.
· Welcome to the Mothership: CAA opens its new doors with an assistant-free flourish.
· Brad Grey’s “uncouth and distasteful” Oscar petition was for naught.
· Isaiah Washington’s apology tour ends at Gayhab.
· Fuck it. Harvey’s good at this.
· Paris Hilton’s last remaining secrets (hint: fat guy smothered in five kilos of blow) are finally yours, for a mere $39.97 a month. Also, she pleads no contest to alcohol-related reckless driving.
· SKG hearts Obama.
· Due to her busy schedule, full-time homemaker Katie Holmes turns down The Dark Knight.
· Nicole Kidman goes boom. What the grip saw.
· Enjoy this round-table discussion with this year’s brightest Oscar nominees. And Brad Pitt.
· The Karma Fairy pays Joe Francis another visit.
· Dakota Fanning sees Hounddog as a sort of arthouse after-school special.
· Kirk Douglas fondly recalls his Nazi-stewardess-slapping sexploits.
· Scott Baio fondly recalls his corduroy-sofa-penetrating sexploits.
· Lindsay Lohan: Happiest she’s ever been and totally in control!

Sharon Stone was spotted leaving The Ivy without her bra on, which is the equivalent of wearing a big sign around her neck that says “Look at me! I want attention!” I mean yeah, people will look at you, but they’ll also look at a naked clown walking into Chuck E. Cheese’s. That doesn’t mean he’s a star.

Pamela Anderson and George Clooney are supposedly a couple after the two were spotted having a romantic dinner date together. Clooney booked a private room at the Valley Inn restaurant in California recently, and the night ended with Anderson sitting on his lap and whispering in his ear. Since then the two have been inseparable, even walking their dogs together. A source says:

“George and Pam have been determined to keep this one quiet.”

With all the selection George Clooney has to choose from you’d think he’d aim a little higher than Pamela Anderson. Ten years ago it would’ve made sense but now it’s just perplexing. It’d be like going to a fancy restaurant and turning down the filet mignon to eat a used condom instead.

Lindsay Lohan reportedly keeps her appendix in her freezer because she was so worried it would end up being sold on eBay she asked the hospital staff if she could take it home. Additionally, her friend Kimberly Stewart is trying to get her to auction it off for charity herself.

There’s something very wrong with Lindsay Lohan’s brain. It’s like everything she learned she learned from watching Saturday morning cartoons. I wouldn’t be surprised if she hides her cereal in her closet, constantly paranoid that the people she runs into are secretly the Trix rabbit in disguise.

Now this is how you do Sundance!

Forget Tara Reid’s failed attempt at winter chic.

Christina Ricci knows how to pull off the perfectly-put-together look in the freezing cold.

The actress was stunning at the Klipsch after-party for Black Snake Moan at the Celsius Lounge in Park City on Wednesday night.

Lindsay Lohan got her dream: to star in one of the worst fashion advertising campaigns ever. This new shot of Firecrotch for Miu Miu is even worse than the first!

Whore needs to check into rehab ASAP!!!

Click here to watch another interview from Paula’s Idol junket on Thursday.

She could definitely hear the interviewer in this chat. And she was also listening to the voices in her head!!!!!

· Gail Berman, gets the boot, as Brad Grey ascends to ultimate Paramount power.
· A new batch of soccer-playing, “Wannabe”-singing celebutards injects itself into a saturated market.
· A week of awards season round-ups.
· The Paula Abdul Trainwreck Express has left the station.
· An agreement with the IRS means the end of Golden Globes gift bags.
· Malibu burns, and takes with it the house that Thighmaster built.
· The Walk of Fame gets Swank’d, and a reader gets swag’d.
· James Cameron’s first movie since Titanic has the same title as M. Night Shyamalan’s next project.
· We will all think back to this as the Golden Era of Donald Vs. Rosie.
· Lindsay Lohan’s Liver 2.0 is bigger, faster, stronger than before.
· Dance for us, children of the rich and famous, dance!
· Angelina Jolie still hasn’t completely bonded with her white blob.
· The end of the Piven-Cusack affair?
· Mr. Blackwell weighs in.
· ICM doesn’t require its agent trainees have reality-show-starring experience, but it helps.

These portraits of Angelina Jolie - with the junkie nails through the arms - made by Marilyn Manson are totally creeping us out!!!!

I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why Lindsay Lohan was running down a Miami street in her bikini last week, but I’ve given up trying to understand why she does the things she does. In her mind there was probably a shark chasing her down in a go-kart. Or maybe she thought the creepy half-naked guy behind her was a chupacabra. With her mental capacity I’m just surprised she was on her feet, and not lying on her belly trying to swim down the road.

It’s nice to see that Britney took her little pet out for a walk!

Spears and her manager - Larry Rudolph - took Tater Tot out of his cage and paid a visit to a Bel-Air pet store on Wednesday.

You know, yes, we’re burning in hell and all that jazz, but…..

Doesn’t Sean P look a little “special”???? Just a tad “slow”??????

If Demi Moore hates the paparazzi that much, then she should move back to Idaho with her fug daughters!

The former actress has made less than a handful of films in the last five years. She should be happy people are still taking her pic.

There’s not much to say. She’s boring. She’s still with Ashton. They were spotted making a coffee run in Los Angeles on Monday.

Demi Moore is like a less talented Madonna.

Won’t she just go away???