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George Clooney was messing with Bruce Willis at Scott Caan's photo exhibit party in Los Angeles last week by telling him a bunch of middle-aged men were hitting on his 18-year-old daughter Rumer. A source says:

"Bruce kept getting madder and madder with each guy George mentioned." Eventually the jig was up when Rumer came over and said, "Dad, George told me to tell you that - uh, I forget his name - was talking to me."

Oh sure, George Clooney pranks Bruce Willis and it's all fun and games. I prank Bruce Willis and I get a restraining order and a police escort to drag me away. Next time I prank a celebrity I'll really prank them. To death. With a tire iron.

Poor Jessica Simpson!

She's looking hot these days, but she's sounding...not so hot.

In fact, Jessica can't speak at all!

According to In Touch Weekly, Simpson has lost her voice.

Jessica, whose new album - A Public Affair - comes out this Tuesday, has had to cancel appearances on Today, TRL and The Late Show with David Letterman.

And, according to the mag, Simpson even flew into NYC a day early in order to see a voice specialist. After examining her, the doctor warned her that she wasn't allowed to talk, and that if she did she could risk ruining her voice for good.

A pal says Jessica feels fine physically, but is "down about the timing of her illness", and has been using a note pad and pen to communicate with friends and colleagues.

Simpson's spokesman, confirms the news, telling In Touch, "She's on total vocal rest and some of her appearances have been delayed."

Get well soon, Jess!

Kathy Griffin chugs some Jesus Juice Monster energy drink at Kari Feinstein's Emmy Style Lounge in Los Angeles over the weekend. Does she make you horny, too?

The DNA did not match and now the accused JonBenet Ramsey kidnapper will be set free.

The warrant on John Mark Karr has been dropped and prosecutors are not proceeding with the case.

Samples of Karr's saliva and hair were taken in Boulder after his arrival Thursday evening. Those samples were tested over the weekend and those tests ruled out Karr's DNA as the foreign DNA left on JonBenet's body when she was slain in December 1996.

Karr still could face child pornography charges in California, where he skipped bail in 2001 after being charged in Sonoma County with five misdemeanor counts of possessing child pornography.

First Christopher Reeve's tragic accident. Then, Madonna'a mishap on a horse last year. And, even Paris Hilton's accident, caught on an episode of The Simple Life.

Now, word comes that actor Matthew Broderick broke his collar bone when he slammed into the ground after falling off a horse.

Celebs, stay the fuck off horses!!! Leave it to the professionals, please.

Broderick was injured while riding a horse at a home he shares with wife Sarah Jessica Parker in northwest Ireland.

According to reports, "When (Broderick) fell off the horse he slammed down on his left arm. The force of that impact fractured his clavicle. He was fitted with a device to keep his shoulder in place and will have to keep pressure off his arm for several weeks."

Ouch!

Poor Tara Reid!

Our heart breaks for her.

This new video is the most humiliating and pathetic thing that can ever happen to an actor.

Not only is Tara no longer on the D list. But she's not even F list. Tara is off the list totally!

It hurts.

Jared Leto went against the grain at the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge at the Bridgehampton Polo Club over the weekend. The 30 Second to Mars frontman ditched traditional polo attire, instead arriving in head-to-to black and looking soooo hot!

A solo Russell Simmons was also there.

Jared and Harvey Weinstein talk business.

Leto and a tiny fan.

[Images for use on PerezHilton.com courtesy of Marion Curtis/Starpix.]

Lindsay Lohan reached into her never-ending supply of bikinis and pulled out this little number to hang out at her boyfriend Harry Morton's beach house. And that's pretty much all you need to know. I've posted so many pictures of her in a bikini I've completely run out of things to say. It's like trying to describe ice cream for the thousandth time. It's iced cream. And it's tasty. And that's about it. A ton more of Lindsay in her new bikini after the jump. Old bikini? I can't even tell anymore.

Jenner and Richie have been inseparable lately!

The new lovebirds hit the Vitamin Barn in Malibu over the weekend (pictured above), where it's nice to see Nicole having a healthy shake. Keep it up!

And, now....

Find out the new nickname for Brody & Nicole....after the jump!

A spoonful of Wentworth helps the medicine go down!

Mr. Miller looked lovely at the primetime Emmys on Sunday.

We couldn't let the day go by without a lil' Wentie!

Did he take Matt Dallas to any of the after-parties?

The original Charlie's Angels reunited Sunday night at the primetime Emmys in Los Angeles to pay tribute to the recently deceased TV legend, Aaron Spelling.

What do you think the combined age of these three hags is???

Find out the individual and total ages of Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith....after the jump!

P.S. Which one's had the most work done?????

I was thinking of renaming the site When Old People Attack so I could justify putting up these pictures of Melissa and Joan Rivers, but I figure that's already a show on Fox so I'll just stick with what we've got. And here's a little tip to help remind you whether or not you should be wearing a bra: if your boobs are hanging lower than your mom's, put on a bra. Put on two bras. Shit, pull out a stapler if you need to.

The Pivert took home a best supporting actor Emmy on Sunday for his work on HBO’s Entourage.

After this picture was taken, Adrien Grenier and Jeremy Piven ______.

I feel like I should say something about the Primetime Emmy Awards. Although considering I'm a deaf mute I figure my emotions would be best expressed through pictures. Random pictures. Of people at the Emmys. So for absolutely no reason except that I'm disabled and deserve your pity I'll be posting random pictures from the Emmys throughout the day. It's my way of saying, "What the fuck are you saying? I can't hear you. I'm deaf, jackass."

Britney Spears was spotted leaving Chin Chin wearing a peach slip, further continuing the trend of Hollywood celebrities confusing their underwear for outerwear. Although considering Britney's mental capacity it's a wonder she wears clothes at all and doesn't just wander around dressed in pudding. More of Britney showing off her huge belly after the jump.